hey, everyone? can i just be honest right now?

um. yeah. let's just get this out there.

i'm terrified.

yep. terrified. i'd put it in all caps if only it didn't sound/look like sarcasm, and i'm far too serious about this to even pretend that sarcasm or a joke. but i'm serious. i'm scared.

this weekend/monday/tuesday has been fall break, which gives poor wheaton students a little time to collect themselves and take a break from breakneck classes. it also marks the halfway point for fall semester. for most of us, it doesn't mean much. there is still a lot of time and steady pace to keep for the rest of the year. for me, it's halfway to where the sidewalk ends.

all that fell on me recently, causing a lot of stress and a few tears. i sort of hate to admit it, but i'm a planner. i've been told that i wasn't always that way, but have become so over the past few years. i don't know how true that is, but either way i know i'm not much for surprises and generally feel a little helter-skelter without at least an idea what i should be doing. i've learned, thought through, and talked a lot of theory of what life should look like over the last few years, and the challenge of maintaining those ideas and theories while still having a place to sleep can appear pretty daunting.

all that is to say, this last month or two is going to be extra-everything. prayers and unconditional support are welcome, if not completely necessary.

much love to all.

absentee ballot, a haircut, and squirrels

i received my absentee ballot this week, and can i just say my heart started beating fast when i opened it today? weirdest thing. it did. my first election, guys! this is a big deal for me. my state has been republican for the last thirty years (except when clinton ran), so who knows what my vote will actually amount to. BUT. look at this cute little pencil they sent in the envelope (just as i started thinking "what do i fill this out with?"--are they READING MY MIND?!)!

(a dime is presented for perspective.)

for those keeping track at home: if my hair seems shorter, it's because it actually is. i, after days of hemming and hawing about my awkward growing layers of hair, took a scissor to it myself in the bathroom. it is all part of the master plan of growing it out, i promise! all to say, i feel very proud that it turned out so well.

although the weather seems to be suffering an identity crisis, the trees and squirrels are not. in our backyard at home, we have two shrubs i know by the name of "firebushes" because of the way the leaves turn from green to red in top-down sequence during the cooling days. the whole campus has been hit by this changing. what a glorious way for summer to end, no? the squirrels have to be among my favorite things to watch: they are out in force burying things, digging up things, misleading each other, daring to do things that needn't be dared in the summer months. they are hilarious in their resolve.

first show, among other things

post script ambiguity's first show was last night, and we were a HIT, if i may be so bold to say. we packed out our smallish venue to standing room only, despite the large choral concert going simultaneously that drew away many friends who would have otherwise attended. our host commented several times that we had a great connection with our audience, and i loved playing for them. after spending weeks performing for only one or two people (who are mostly watching to correct), it's SOO GOOD to get the energy from a larger audience and to hear them laugh. all in all, i got to play a male cheerleader, host a party where neo, a spokesperson for marco's polos, and someone who jumped when they heard the word "and" were all in attendance, a small child who santa had done very wrong, and disown a friend with a gas problem. we had so much FUN.

this week has been a full one-- jumping through my hoops makes life busy. i've done a little bit of design work where i can, like this poster for RA applications i think is pretty cool.


no word on the australia job, and i don't really think i have much chance of actually nabbing it. the good news is that i have some folks here in wheaton who might be liking a roommate come january... BUT WE'LL GET TO THE FINE PRINT OF THAT LATER.

i am, however, very very jealous of my family who have seen each other recently. hopefully i'll get some folks up here to see a show in november! blessings to all.

hey! heylookit! it's me!

i would be so flattered if you pushed this link. you'll see my pretty face!

and this is my troupe, Post Script Ambiguity! LOVE LOVE LOVE.

homecoming weekend

hi! let's do the obvious thing and have a little breakdown of what's been going on recently.

academics
my three classes are going well. this is the time of the semester where things start to kick into gear, the end of what freshmen call the "honeymoon phase." in my communication criticism class, we have been asked to select a "communication artifact" to analyze. i've picked a series of south park episodes called "imaginationland." it'll be rough, it'll be challenging, but it'll be fun and possibly destroy a part of my soul. ON TO THE NEXT! my media class is rocking my world, the way i use technology/media, and even how i see symbols and everyday life. these new ideas are foiled perfectly by writing for media. it's been fun.

extracarricular (basically, improv)
hey, remember that one time i said i was doing improv and had been selected to play on a new troupe? WELL! after months of deliberation, we have named ourselves "post script ambiguity." what does it mean? why did we choose it? you'll just have to come see us play! we practice about four hours a week, and have recently been clicking along pretty well. our first show is next friday, october 10. if you're in the area, come see us! also-- checkout the WheatonIMPROV website and look for my picture and bio under "players." i'd be much obliged.
i'll be performing in a sketch show for the class of '83 with four of my fellow improvvers this weekend, and a couple of guys will be working from a sketch i wrote!
improv has been great to and for me. i can't begin to say how thankful i am for the people, the affirmation, the challenges, the community i seem to have fallen into. i look forward to performing with them.

i've helped my friend anna put on a study abroad meeting by making some posters for her and being available for questions during the meeting. i miss australia a bit, which leads to...

i'm applying for a job with the study abroad program in australia. it's scary, but i've got to start somewhere.

life, in general
man. i'm a crazy awesome mess. from time to time i get weirded out by things, especially since a cold front has struck in the last two days. i constantly have to remind myself that no, i am not a junior, yes, things happened during freshman year which was not a year ago... i'm in a perpetual time warp. semesters abroad will do that to you! but, i'm loving it. i need to take more time to commemorate the passage of each day, something i regret about september and hope to reinstate for october. preemptive nostalgia is not helped by all the alumni wandering around with BABIES and such.

i've started to attend an anglican church called Church of the Resurrection, which is really different from my upbringing and kind of a new thing on the whole for me. i could write a really long passage (probably a dissertation) why i've started to go there, but i'll spare you. i just find it odd to look back on my church experience over the past few years-- when i left for college, liturgy of any kind made my heart queasy. by sophomore year i attended an orthodox easter (pascha) service, and after flirting with non-denominational all last spring, i'm starting to actually like the liturgy a little.

and with that, i leave you-- gotta go work on a sketch show and then analyze "imaginationland"'s plot structure. i hope all of you are well.