so what now?

okay. i started writing "let's recap" three weeks after my arrival and just, this very moment, january 3, 2008, completed it. there's not even pictures or video to accompany it. what's wrong with me? what's going on? what have i been doing? what now?

let's pick up where i left off--asleep in my bed the tuesday before thanksgiving. i wish i could say how long i slept that night, but i genuinely do not recall. i know i slept hard and awoke in a cleaner version of my room than i've ever actually been able to support. i spent the next week slowly destroying that clean room with exploding bags of dirty clothes, souvenirs, paperwork, and electronic doodads. but it didn't matter. there was family in the house.

on wednesday afternoon, my oldest brother matt and his wife victoria arrived. that night, dana came in.
[i realize now that before "this post comes out of left field" i had not mentioned dana. while i'm sure i've seen most of my readers face to face since returning to the states and have probably told them about dana, but just in case i have some lurking in the dark, i'll quickly explain. dana and i are dating--december 30 marked six months for us. if you do the math, that means we started dating just a few weeks before i left. distance was nothing new to us, but spending actual time together as a couple was almost completely uncharted territory. that's the short version. it was a huge blessing to have him.--that's another short version.]
and what do new friends and old family do together? we play wii.

yup.

thanksgiving came and so did my grandparents on thursday. it was a full house, in-depth, crazy/awesome/overwhelming reentry process that worked out perfectlly and would not have changed--except maybe to have brought in my other brother and sister-in-law! all the right people got all the australia fresh stories, i had no need to unpack and no opportunity to sit around and whine about not being in sydney anymore. i learned early on in the semester that the art of not missing is distraction and pushing myself to live in the present. having everyone here helped me do that. it was great.

the last guest left the following monday, at which point i started to actually unpack and consider how the rest of my time off would be spent. since then, i have not spent a consecutive 14 days in any one place.
i made a trip to wheaton to visit friends and reacquaint myself with campus. from there i went to iowa to visit dana's family--who welcomed me so warmly i went back a week or so later to spend Christmas with them. quick turnaround to spend new years with the thanksgiving crowd--sadly sans dana-- in beautiful jackson hole, wyoming.
during my handful of spare days at home, i've been unpacking, repacking, baking, crafting/knitting, cleaning closets, seeing friends, sleeping, and warming the couch. it's been great time off, and a fantastic way to spend six weeks.
i return to wheaton on the 12th, and classes start on the 14th. i'm looking forward to getting back, truly unpacking, and settling down for awhile. it's been an amazing year. i'm sorry i wasn't so good at keeping this place taken care of.

... ... ...

it is oddly normal to be back in the states. i miss bits of life in sydney, mostly the people and places connected with them. it's hard to look back through pictures and even think about making sense of them. i feel that sorting them and creating that little picture book for people to look at finishes it somehow. it's really over once i know how to answer the question "how was it?" the fact that i have not dealt with my pictures and video might also be a testament to the fact that my technology is touch and go with memory and capability to deal with such things. i'll get there someday. there are plans. sort of. in the meantime, i'm trying to still be fully where i am.

so what now? what about this place? i started this blog months ago when i was going to be absent from the world i know. i'm no longer absent. what will be left to try to leave updated? that question i leave to you and to whatever adventures may come my way. if there's interest, time, and adventures, i'll write. silences mean a lack of at least two of those three.

don't disappear for too long, we say to each other. i don't plan to. i just gained a new respect for the song "wunderkind" by alanis morissette, featured on the soundtrack to the chronicles of narnia: the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe. it claims:

i am a magnet for all kinds of deeper wonderment
i am a pioneer naïve enough to believe this...
destined to seek, destined to know...


i'm surely not yet done adventuring.