hey, everyone? can i just be honest right now?

um. yeah. let's just get this out there.

i'm terrified.

yep. terrified. i'd put it in all caps if only it didn't sound/look like sarcasm, and i'm far too serious about this to even pretend that sarcasm or a joke. but i'm serious. i'm scared.

this weekend/monday/tuesday has been fall break, which gives poor wheaton students a little time to collect themselves and take a break from breakneck classes. it also marks the halfway point for fall semester. for most of us, it doesn't mean much. there is still a lot of time and steady pace to keep for the rest of the year. for me, it's halfway to where the sidewalk ends.

all that fell on me recently, causing a lot of stress and a few tears. i sort of hate to admit it, but i'm a planner. i've been told that i wasn't always that way, but have become so over the past few years. i don't know how true that is, but either way i know i'm not much for surprises and generally feel a little helter-skelter without at least an idea what i should be doing. i've learned, thought through, and talked a lot of theory of what life should look like over the last few years, and the challenge of maintaining those ideas and theories while still having a place to sleep can appear pretty daunting.

all that is to say, this last month or two is going to be extra-everything. prayers and unconditional support are welcome, if not completely necessary.

much love to all.