it was just getting too nice, wasn't it?

well, well, well. even though we are a few days from may, this still happened:



that's it. breaking a nigh-on two-and-a-half-week stretch of amazing weather, we actually had about twenty minutes of very chunky snow this morning. after revealing this fact to someone who was in class during this time, he responded with, "oh, it snowed a little awhile ago? that's like throwing up a little in your mouth. if it were a blizzard, it's like, 'okay, it's a blizzard. that's what it is.' but with 'oh, it snowed a little a while ago' there's no satisfaction." yep. actual conversation had at lunch.

so, last week of classes. the weather makes it feel like mid-march all over again, so instead of an exclamation point at the end of that sentence it feels more like a question mark. really? this is it?

allergies, end-of-year cabin fever, AND pulling out the heavy jacket from where i tucked it away are in full swing. it's gonna be a fun week!

oh! the apartment!

the apartment is a very nice two-bedroom, two-bath setup in the south loop--about three blocks from columbia's main buildings. the building itself is nice and, although some mention was made of other columbia students in the building, but is mostly quiet families and couples. sweet.

the apartment currently houses three columbia students, all girls my age. two of the girls are moving out, and i am replacing one of them. i haven't met my other roommate yet, but the going sentiment is that everyone is "totally laid-back and easygoing." seeing as i am too, i think it'll work out okay between us. if there will be a third roommate remains to be known.

the gal i'm replacing had the secondary room, which is a very nice size and has its own bathroom across the hall. the other two girls shared the master room and bathroom. again, not sure how that's going to pan out, but--there you are.

i look forward to moving and settling in and finding creative ways to live simply and cheaply there. i'll be making use of local second-hand shops, i'm sure, and maybe even getting creative if i have time. i won't promise pictures.

summah (round two)

here's what happens in my brains when i start making plans. ready? go.

i process things through writing them out. so, when i wrote down my last post, i started realizing a few things. there were housing issues in chicago i hadn't thought about before, some fairly good reasons to be in arkansas that hadn't previously occurred to me. what am i doing? i thought. so, i talked to dad, and started to create some hypothetical plans that put me at home. in the last few weeks, i've been trying to play out these two scenarios with a foot in each camp.
push "fast forward" on the whole ordeal, and i've got a moot application at the processing the u of a, an apartment in the south loop i've visited and accepted, and a frustrating back-and-forth relationship with every department at columbia.

yep. so, after a few weeks of thinking about changing plans, my plans have remained the same. um, why did i think i needed to post this? oh. that's right:

while i was downtown yesterday visiting the apartment, i walked around columbia's buildings to try and get some class situation ironed out. i'd never intentionally been there before, and had no idea who to talk to or where to go. after asking some security guards (i even charmed smiles out of both of them!) and people behind various desks about the right place to be, i found my way to the right department where i received me a very informative (and hopefully useful) sheet of paper.

and as i walked, i realized that i was scared of being there.

i'm not all that certain i'm really cut out for doing what i'm studying to do. my confidence fluctuates with my audience. columbia is an arts school, exclusively. in my mind, it's a tough audience. my insecurity feeds itself with silly, as-of-yet unsubstantiated assumptions about people at the campus knowing their stuff and an animalistic sixth sense for fear and insecurity. i know that these things aren't necessarily true, but i can't get myself to believe it just yet. i'm still scared of what my peers will think of the naive Christian liberal-arts girl when she doesn't perform to standard. or doesn't always get the joke. or asks the stupid questions. or... catch my drift? after spending a few years where Christian community and standards of value are generally accepted, i'm comfortable and out of shape with the rigors of defending lifestyle and faith. i'm nervous.

people i love have a good way of helping me remembering a few facts: i am there to learn, that i am often my own worst critic, and i have just as much right to be there as anybody else. doing what scares you most is probably the most interesting choice to make, and interesting choices make for full, fun, interesting, rich, hard, and fruitful lives. i get the chance to look at the sky and say, "okay, God. it's all you. i'm hands and feet now. help."

so. that's where i stand on this whole thing. scared. but hopeful and full of faith.

this week is the last week of classes, and then finals week: i only have three, but they're all on wednesday. prayers are welcome and thankfully received. love to all.

summah summah summah (promised post out-of-sequence)

that's right. summer plans. well. maybe i should be less vague. i'll lay out all the known plans from here until december (because that's as far as i got).

this summer, i'll be in chicago taking some summer courses at columbia college in chicago. (not to be confused with columbia university in new york.) to finish my minor in graphic design, i need just two more classes, and it makes sense to do them this summer instead of next fall. graphic design faculty within the wheaton art department have been flighty--honestly, it's like the wheaton version of hogwarts' "defense against the dark arts" professors. this move also makes sense regarding my credit needs to graduate on time*. i'm looking forward to doing some good work with people who know what they're doing when i really have some time and energy to put into it, instead of trying to juggle three other classes plus intense design work.

when i'm not in class, i intend to be back at saatchi and saatchi x internship. they've been asking about me coming back since i left, which i'm still incredibly flattered by. since i won't be there full-time, i won't be monetarily compensated and i've come to a place of being okay with that. another summer with the ssx crowd is fun and heck, saatchi for two summers in a row is not a bad thing to have on a résumé.

i'm still in the process of understanding where i'm living, exactly what classes i'm taking, or how it's all going to work out. i've been having some trouble with columbia's administration departments (no one can tell me when i register or if i am eligible for housing...(okay, it seriously took a week and 8 emails for one department to send me a housing contract. that's not good, people. this isn't rocket science, this is a school. figure it out.)). i'll be visiting them soon to have someone help me out face to face!

recently i've started to question if there's something better i could be doing with the summer. columbia's a great school, but it's not the only arts and design program around. i love chicago, but i know less and less people who'll be around to play with me. saatchi's a great opportunity to hone skills, but it's charted territory, so to speak. i sort of wonder if there are people i could be connecting with either at home or who knows where that could be pushing the edges of my map farther out (sticking with the "charted territory" metaphor!). i find most rest in this plan when i remember that this summer is not last summer, i'll be working with not only ssx people, but columbia students as well. eek! i am actually a little nervous about the whole thing. but i am excited, so i suppose it all equals itself out.

*i hope this doesn't come as a surprise to anyone, but on-time graduation for me is december, 2008. yep, a semester early. if you couple a healthy amount of credits from high school AP classes with a vigilant crackdown on gen eds and making every hour count (even in australia!), and you get your classes done very quickly. i've almost always known graduating early was possible, but wasn't sure about it until a few months ago. when i got back from australia, i realized that wheaton does a lot of things well, but it just isn't equipped to teach what i'm interested in. there's just not much use in me sticking around. so, i've applied for my degree, gotten everything checked out, and i'm good to go for december 2008.

where do i go from there? beats me. back to [another] school? some time off? try to get a job? embark on another grand adventure across the globe?

and yes. it scares the living daylights out of me. the strangest fact is that i get more and more comfortable with it as it draws nearer. i'd assume that's a bell-shaped curve and i'll start flipping out again in another four months, but in the meantime, it's alright.

i am hungry for adventure, though. there is too much work to be done in the world to sit still for long.

the computer saga

from january to march, i wept over my poor broken laptop. the circa 2005 ibook g4 had its logic board replaced three times, and still didn't work. thanks to the insurance plan we purchased with it, repairs and replacements didn't cost a thing. when the support team at apple heard what i'd gone through, they decided to grant me a full computer replacement. apple is obligated to give me the same or better from what i had, but they don't really make ibooks anymore. so they upgraded me! all i had to do was send in the old to receive the new. just before spring break, i packed my lappy in a box and bid it adieu. some people have pets, some people have actual children, i have my computer. it was a sad day.



a week later my new computer was waiting for me.



a shiny, clean, new, and billion times more powerful macbook. (of course, it's still in the packaging here).



ever since then, i've been a computing madperson. i've been chatting with international friends (who can see my face for the first time in months!), writing papers wherever and whenever i want, and tweaking my interface to my sheer joy. it's a great machine and i couldn't be happier with it. i shall always remember my first little lappy, though, and hope it's in a better place now.

and that, ladies and gents, is the story of a computer: your first promised post.

look who decided to show up!

sorry it's been awhile, fans. a busy few weeks coupled with only the handful of good news here and there means very little posting from me.

i hope to write the following blogs as soon as time allows:
-new computer!
-hanging out with dad!
-summertime opportunities!
-spring break laziness!
-cleaning out the cobwebs of my mind (you know you're excited about this one)!

and i'm sure more will follow. on the upswing, some good news:

it would seem that with the arrival of april brought with it spring. we had snow on Good Friday and again the following week, but this week we have experienced the unthinkable: a thunderstorm. it has been safe to leave buildings with a medium-weight jacket for the last couple days, and people have been breaking out shorts and flip-flops. not en masse, mind you: we come out slowly like the bunnies skittering across campus, but there they are nonetheless. i might even venture to say that the grass (gasp! wheaton has grass? the place isn't constantly covered in snow and eugh?) is starting to look a bit greeny and there are even sprouts of flowers coming up from the ground. it is almost a solid month behind my arkansan counterparts, but better late than never.

april also brings the last solid month of school for wheatonites. our finals week begins on may 5th and ends on the 8th. april can be just as hard as the winter months sometimes, with no days off (february and march had heaps of them, thanks to the administration's understanding that we will become miserable if we don't calm down a little in february, spring break, and easter) and lots of things due, plus the ever dwindling time to be with friends while the outside is hospitable.

this time with friends takes on a new weight with me as i realize i only have another month, then next semester to be with them. it figures that i would have to leave just after feeling like i'd settled in. isn't that just life?

life looks a little different for me than it did a few months ago. but i'll tell you about that later. happy spring, loves! i wish i was there or you here. or both of us in sydney with two green public transportation passes and nothing do to.

ps: i have a new literary pet peeve. take note.
loose and lose are different words. if you loose something, you un-tighten it. shoelaces, muscles, and change are loose. if you lose something, you've misplaced it or cannot re-attain it. friends, keys, and places in line can be lost.
but these are just loose definitions, and well, you might lose my point.